The All-Consuming Search for Someone ‘Better’.

Whitney Cummings’ thoughts on marriage, being single and the all-consuming search for ‘someone better’. (Part of her recently featured talk on The Tim Ferriss Show podcast).

“…I would say that my opinions have changed, on marriage. Being single is very time consuming, exhausting and distracting, it’s a full-time job! Especially if you’re online dating, like I am. And I see a lot of value in finding somebody who can be a teammate and, if the person supports your goals, I think it’s a risk that is worth taking, even if it doesn’t pan out.

I believe in marriage, I also believe strongly in divorce – if something isn’t working. I think the stigma of divorce is obsolete and, frankly, kind of ridiculous …. given that marriage was invented when the life expectancy was 30 years old, we’re now living to 80. It’s unrealistic and unfair pressure and expectation to put on people that a marriage should last forever, if it does, that’s awesome, (congratulations, you’re an anomaly), but if it doesn’t, that’s OK! I hope to have a couple of marriages in my lifetime.

I just recently learned the value of teamwork in a relationship. It is my goal to be in a relationship that energizes you instead of depletes you…It’s part human nature and part Type-A personality to always be looking for something better, improving yourself. Every time I’m in a relationship I’m like, should I be with someone better? Someone smarter, funnier… this, that, and it’s exhausting! I think there’s a healthy level of acceptance of ‘this person is awesome, I should commit to them’. And yes, I could scour the world for the upgrade but I think that’s energy better used to upgrade yourself…”

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