We all saw it coming. Our newsfeeds were flooded with motivational and inspirational quotes. There were no shortages of content regarding mindfulness and self-improvement. Life coaches, aerial yoga and meditation apps became all the craze. And everyone talked about new experiences and stepping out of the comfort zone. The combined force of positive vibes from the past one year has led us to 2017, The Year Of The Self, and we couldn’t have been more ready.
Our recent Breakfast Television Segment was about how bettering certain specific habits can allow one to put their best foot forward in their next relationship. Here are 5 mindful ways to get your dating game strong as ever in 2017.
1. Change your language
Changing a few keywords in your language can make a significant difference in your day to day. People tend to link negative words with things that they hope to change in a positive way and that just doesn’t work. For example, let’s say a woman just got home from a bad date and, in a fed-up state, writes a note to herself that says “Stop Dating Jerks”. She may think she’s taken a step forward; after all, she has just created a reminder to stop dating jerks. But all this has actually done is trained her brain to be on the lookout for men she should not be dating, rather than ones she should be dating. Instead, had she written down “Start Dating Nice Guys” or, “Date Someone Kind”, she would now be that much more aware when the opportunity presented itself, something she may not have even noticed before.
The takeaway here is to say, or ideally write down, your goals by starting sentences with a pro-active word like, “Do” or “Start” rather than “Stop” or “Don’t”. Once you are aware of your language, this is one tip that’s easy to implement yet super effective.
2. Become a doer
It’s easy to sit back and say, “I never meet anyone” or “I always meet the same type of people”. This year, stop complaining and start doing. If you want to meet someone different then try going somewhere different or try doing something different, it’s not hard. Start by simply spending more time or taking up activities where the type of people you want to meet are likely to be. For example, let’s say you’re a foodie, you love to cook and you’re already great at it. It might not occur to you but, you can still take a cooking class! And by doing so, you will meet new people as well as those who have similar interests as you.
If you want to see more things happen, start doing more things. It’s that simple.
3. Block out the noise
The reality of today is that it’s a noisy world. All day long you are subjected to information and opinions about how you should think, what you should eat, who you should date and the list goes on. So being able to block out the noise, at least when most needed, is truly a skill worth developing.
How you do this will vary from person to person, and that’s good news, as there is no cookie-cutter way everyone must follow. Meditating, journaling and certain activities (yoga, running or painting, for example) are all common practices. Whatever way you choose to go about it is up to you, just make sure to develop a method through which you can cut through all the clutter and clear your mind. In times of need (and there will be), you will be so grateful to have this intangible tool at your disposal.
4. Enjoy your own company
This ties nicely into ‘blocking out the noise’ as spending time alone can be a great way to disconnect. Make 2017 the year you revel in your own company. We’re so used to constantly being surrounded by others, both physically and virtually, that this can be a challenge. So the next time you find yourself, phone in hand, about to text a friend to join you for lunch or dinner, pause for a moment and take yourself out instead. If it feels odd or uncomfortable in some way then rest assured, you are doing the right thing.
5. Be the person you want to meet
Important qualities that you seek in someone else should directly reflect who you are as well. When you find yourself daydreaming about “the perfect woman” or “the perfect man”, you need to also take a look in the mirror and ask, “Am I ready and able to offer the same (or almost the same) to someone else?”. A simple example is if you want to meet someone athletic and active, don’t expect that they want to meet a couch potato.
Don’t be afraid of self-reflection, a little can go a long way. Self-improvement is something to take pride in and will bring you closer to meeting someone you want and deserve.
Image from lonny.com, ronneb.com, hispotion.com, il3.picdn.net, shutterstock.com, blogspot.com